A woman has been voted an a****** on a Reddit forum for wanting to make her younger sister use her birthday money to replace makeup that she stole.

In the post on the r/AmITheA**hole forum, a 24-year-old user going by the moniker throwawaybirthday33 explained that she moved back in with her parents while finishing trade school. She explained that she and her 10-year-old sister share a bathroom and she had recently noticed her make up had been going missing, forcing her to spend hundreds of dollars to replace it.

Despite describing her sister as a “good kid,” with the help of her mother, she discovered “not only my makeup but a bunch of makeup of my mom’s that had gone missing.”

The Redditor went on to explain that: “All of the makeup she took from my mom and I [was] destroyed, the [pallettes] were mixed together and cracked, brushes had paint in them, lipstick mashed, and everything was covered in slime. When me and my parents confronted her she denied everything, even said that she didn’t use any of the makeup when it was an obvious lie.”

The little sister has been grounded for a month with no phone or electronics, and the parents have offered to compensate the older sister. However she said: “I don’t want them to pay me back I want HER to pay me back. She stole and destroyed nearly $200 in makeup and lied to my face about it, the worst part is I’ve only been living here for 3 weeks!”

She goes on to say that she is considering asking her sister to use her birthday money to pay for the make up she took.

Ruth E. Freeman, founder and president at Peace at Home Parenting Solutions, said: “Lying and stealing from time to time is not so unusual in school-age children, however, in this case there is a pattern that should be addressed.”

According to Maryland-based medical center Johns Hopkins Medicine, lying and stealing are more common in boys than girls, and happen most often in children aged five to eight years.

“By the time the child is 9, the child should respect the possessions of others and understand that stealing is wrong,” the medical center says.

“It’s important for parents to state clearly that this behavior is unacceptable and that it hurts relationships when we can’t trust the people we love,” said Freeman. “Ideally parents will describe the behavior to the child without shame or blame and ask the child calmly why they have done this repeatedly. Sometimes it may be related to certain hard to handle emotions. Perhaps in this case younger sister feels less loved or admired than older sister? There could be myriad reasons.

“In some cases, children are being bullied or hurt at school and they act out at home. So the process of addressing this behavior begins with understanding motivation as clearly as possible and addressing those issues directly with the child. It also makes sense to require the child to make amends by paying to replace the ruined property.

“It is best to deliver this message in a firm, kind and respectful way such as: ‘When we take things without permission, we need to make amends to those we have hurt. In this case you will need to pay your sister the money it will take to replace the items you took and your mom as well. Most importantly we want you to amend your behavior and in the future ask for what you want rather than taking it without permission. What do you think will help you remember to follow those rules?’

“While stealing from family members feels terrible, it is important to convey to the child that they are loved, even when they make mistakes, and support them to make amends as well as think about what will help them follow the rules in the future.

“Stealing can trigger intense emotions in parents and others, but focusing on punishment or shaming, lecturing, judging or yelling will not help prevent this behavior in the future, and may even make things worse.”

Many Reddit users thought throwawaybirthday33 was being unreasonable.

“Yeah, honestly, given they’ve punished her and are offering to pay OP back it just seems like she’s trying to twist the knife on her sister when it’s already been resolved” said one.

Another said: “She is 11, so I would just take the money from your mom and dad, all they are going to do is give her less or nothing at all for her birthday. Lesson learned.”

Some users supported the OP though.

“Even if she’s 10, she stole. It’s fine to hold her responsible”, wrote one.

Another said: “A 10-year-old understands stealing, destroying other people’s property and lying about it. Any argument from her about why she shouldn’t be held responsible is ridiculous.”

Newsweek has reached out to throwawaybirthday33 via Reddit for comment.

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